"Since the dawn of time, parents have changed diapers. And in all that time — across every civilization, every empire, every revolution — they have faced one devastating, humiliating, unresolved problem. They could not tell if it was a number one. Or a number two. Or worse."— The DUMPR Founding Story, Page 1 of 340
What DUMPR does
Our engineering team approached this the same way they approach any world-class hardware problem: with complete disregard for whether it should exist.
DUMPR™ — Gen 1 · Obsidian
Our commitment to you
"We take privacy very seriously. We have taken it so seriously that we have written 47 pages about it. The document begins with a genuine commitment to your rights. It ends somewhere different. We recommend reading pages 1 through 3."
* By activating DUMPR, you agree that your infant's waste biometric data may be used to train, refine, and improve future DUMPR AI models, as well as third-party AI systems operating in adjacent wellness verticals. You further agree that DUMPR is not responsible for any insights, predictions, or conclusions the model draws about your infant's future health, personality, or tendencies. The model has opinions. We are not endorsing the opinions. But we are storing them.
** Your data is retained for a minimum of 10 years. We felt 5 wasn't enough.
*** DUMPR operates a dedicated "Transparency Center" at transparency.dumpr.baby which contains a FAQ, a contact form, and one photo of a baby that we licensed from Getty. The contact form goes to a shared inbox. Response time is 6–9 business weeks.
Look, We Need To Talk
per diaper · single use · Bluetooth included
We know what you're thinking. "It's a disposable." You're right. It is. It's also the most technologically sophisticated object that will ever touch your child's bottom, and we feel that deserves acknowledgment in the form of a price point. Each DUMPR contains a precision-embedded Bluetooth module, a microsensor array, a GutIQ™ processing unit, and approximately $0.47 worth of absorbent material. You're paying for the rest.
*$34 applies to the standard DUMPR™. The DUMPR™ Pink Edition — identical in every way, including the hardware, the firmware, the packaging, and the smell — is $59.99. The price difference reflects a pink tax we have chosen to pass on rather than absorb, because we believe in transparency, and also in margin.
Important: The Diaper Is Not Enough
Without an active DUMPR Data Plan, your diaper will sense. It will collect. It will transmit. But the app will show a loading spinner, indefinitely. The data belongs to us regardless. A subscription determines whether any of it belongs to you.
Annual billing only. We do not offer monthly plans because monthly plans encourage ambivalence, and we cannot afford your ambivalence. Cancellation requires 60 days written notice, a phone call, and a brief conversation with someone named Derek who will ask if you've "really thought this through."
¹ "AI" refers to a proprietary machine learning model trained on a dataset we are not at liberty to describe. The model performs inference at the edge, meaning on the diaper itself, using a biodegradable processing unit that will cease to function after a single use. We believe this is a responsible use of compute. Several of our investors believe this also.
² DUMPR has not been approved by the FDA, FCC, FTC, EPA, or AAP. It has been approved by us, internally, following a review process we designed. We were satisfied.
³ "Biodegradable Bluetooth" is a registered trademark of DUMPR, Inc. The module is biodegradable in the sense that it will, eventually, cease to exist. Timeframe: 400–700 years.
⁴ The "Share to Instagram" feature shares a data visualization, not a photograph. We want to be clear about this. We are clear about this in a footnote rather than in the feature marketing because the feature marketing tests better without this clarification.
⁵ DUMPR, Inc. is a Delaware C-Corp. We have raised $47M in Series A funding from investors who have chosen to remain unnamed because they have children and are embarrassed. We are not embarrassed. We believe in this.
DUMPR™ Pre-Order
No need to fill out your information.
We already bought your data from online brokers.
Your order is being processed. Your address, payment method, purchase history, household income estimate, and infant's approximate age were sourced from a third-party data provider. This is covered in the privacy policy. Pages 31 through 34.
A confirmation has been sent to the email address we have on file for you. You did not provide this email address to us. That's fine. Expected delivery: 6–10 weeks. You will not be able to cancel this order. Cancellation requires a phone call. The number is not listed.
